
By Jake Conrad
We are all familiar with zombies. We see them plastered across pop culture in movies, video games, and television shows. You may have even read a full length novel about them! Today, zombies are everywhere. But what if I told you that they had infiltrated the Army, and that most of us interact with them every day?
These pesky intruders are known as ‘Staff Zombies’ and they come in many shapes and sizes. They may be difficult to spot at first, but once recognized, they are nearly impossible to ignore. Throughout our careers, we have all seen and dealt with them. Staff Zombies can be unnecessary personally owned vehicle inspections before a long weekend, or they can be weekly storyboard requirements that go nowhere. Every unit has its own invaders, and often, the same ones permeate across the entire force. Please keep in mind, my use of ‘staff’ as the prefix to zombies isn’t a Myrerian reaction to any form of staff officership, but that will become evident later on.






















