Joe Byerly

Ep 182- Are You Suffering from the Success Wound? with Brooke Taylor

Brooke Taylor, author of Healing the Success Wound, joins Joe to explore the hidden pain that comes from mistaking achievement, productivity, and success for self-worth.

This episode examines the “success wound,” the belief that our worth is tied to what we produce, accomplish, or achieve rather than who we are. Brooke shares her own story of growing up in Silicon Valley, chasing gold stars, working at Google, and realizing that external success could not fill the emptiness underneath. What looked impressive on the outside was, internally, driven by a deep need for approval, validation, and belonging.

Brooke explains how high achievers often become trapped in a cycle of striving, proving, pleasing, hiding, or numbing. They keep reaching the next promotion, assignment, title, or milestone, only to find that the satisfaction never lasts. Over time, that pattern can lead to burnout, anxiety, substance abuse, chronic stress, and a distorted sense of identity.

Joe and Brooke also discuss:

  • Why achievement can become a substitute for self-worth
  • The difference between self-confidence and self-worth
  • Why many high performers are only as good as their last piece of feedback
  • The five success wound archetypes: the grinder, the hider, the pleaser, the seeker, and the work-hard-play-hard
  • How military leaders can confuse identity with rank, role, branch, or assignment
  • Why values are essential for making better career and life decisions
  • How aligned ambition allows leaders to pursue meaningful work without being driven by fear, scarcity, or the need to prove themselves

This episode is for anyone who has achieved the thing they thought would finally make them feel whole, only to realize the finish line moved again. It is also for leaders, professionals, parents, and high performers who want to understand what is driving their ambition, how to separate their worth from their work, and how to build a life and career from a place of alignment instead of anxiety.

Ep 181- Steve Jobs in Exile with Geoffrey Cain

Geoffrey Cain, author of Steve Jobs in Exile, joins Joe to explore one of the most overlooked chapters in Steve Jobs’ life: the twelve years between his fall from Apple and his return to build one of the most influential companies in the world.

This episode looks beyond the familiar story of the iPhone, iPod, and Apple’s second act to examine the wilderness years that shaped Jobs into the leader we remember today. After being pushed out of Apple in 1985, Jobs was forced to confront failure, ego, rejection, and the limits of vision without discipline. What followed was a long and painful period of experimentation, mistakes, personal transformation, and eventual renewal through NeXT and Pixar.

Geoffrey explains why the Steve Jobs who founded Apple was not the same Steve Jobs who returned in 1997. As a young leader, Jobs was brilliant but difficult, convinced of his own vision but often unable to listen to the people around him. At NeXT, that ego led to missed opportunities, broken relationships, and expensive failure. But over time, those same failures began to teach him the lessons he needed most: focus, discipline, humility, execution, and the ability to work within the limits of reality.

Joe and Geoffrey also discuss:

  • Why Steve Jobs’ time away from Apple was not wasted, but formative
  • How NeXT helped lay the foundation for the Apple products we use today
  • Why genius without discipline can end in expensive failure
  • How Jobs’ ego hurt NeXT and nearly destroyed his second act
  • What Pixar taught Jobs about trust, creative restraint, and letting talented people do their work
  • Why failure can become the foundation for future success
  • How the “wilderness years” shape leaders before they return stronger
  • Why Jobs came back to Apple quieter, more focused, and more willing to listen
  • What leaders can learn from Jobs’ journey through failure, reinvention, and return

This episode is for anyone who has ever gone through a hard season and wondered whether it was wasted. It’s also for leaders, builders, creatives, and entrepreneurs who want to better understand how failure, if we are willing to learn from it, can become the preparation for our most important work.

Ep 180- When Your Brain Won’t Turn Off with Dr. Tommy Shavers and Carlos Perez

Dr. Tommy Shavers, founder of NESTRE Health & Performance, and Carlos Perez, a retired Special Forces officer, join Joe to explore a powerful idea: the brain is not fixed. It can be measured, trained, strengthened, and improved.

This episode was recorded after Joe visited NESTRE’s performance center in Lake Nona, Florida, where he went through their cognitive assessment and brain training process firsthand. What followed was a conversation about performance, recovery, military transition, stress, and what happens when high performers spend years operating in survival mode and then struggle to turn their minds off.

Tommy shares the story of how multiple concussions ended his college football career and nearly changed the course of his life. After being told his brain would only continue to decline, he began searching for a different answer—one that eventually led him to develop a model for cognitive recovery and performance training. Carlos explains why, as a retired Green Beret, he immediately saw the potential for this work inside the military and veteran communities.

Joe, Tommy, and Carlos also discuss:

  •  Why the brain should be trained like the body 
  •  What Joe learned from having his own brain “mapped” 
  •  How high performers can operate well under pressure but pay a hidden cost over time 
  •  Why veterans often struggle to shut their brains off after leaving the military 
  •  The difference between treating the brain as broken and training it for performance 
  •  How cognitive assessments could help military units better understand, train, and build teams 
  •  Why stress, sleep, focus, and emotional regulation are performance issues—not just personal struggles 

This episode is for anyone who has spent years pushing hard, performing under pressure, and wondering why slowing down feels so difficult. It’s also for leaders, veterans, athletes, and high performers who want to better understand how their brain works—and how they can train it to support the next chapter of their life.

Gambling with Influence: Don’t Bet Your Life on Someone Else’s Promise

By Joe Byerly

I sat across from the Army general during my initial counseling, just a few months into squadron command. He talked about the two years of command ahead of me. But when he moved on to my next career move, I interrupted him.

“Sir, I appreciate your advice, but I’m retiring after this assignment. So, the rest of this isn’t really necessary.”

He asked me why I had decided to retire. After listening to my reasons, he offered up an opportunity that had once been a dream of mine. He even said that if I stayed in, he would personally see to it that I got the very competitive position.

Without going into specifics, his offer was generous. Very generous. A younger version of myself would have said yes before he even finished the sentence.

But I knew better.

Yes, he had influence. Yes, he could make some phone calls. Yes, he could put my name in the right rooms and tell the right people I was the right person for the job. But I also knew there was a chance a more senior general was sitting across from someone else in my shoes and making the same offer. And if that general had more stars, my general’s promise would not matter.

“Sir, thank you so much for your willingness to do that for me, but we both know that if a three- or four-star general wants his guy or gal in that seat, they will get it. And I’ll get screwed.”

He mulled that comment over for a second, then replied, “You’re right. Well, if that won’t pan out, let me make sure I do everything I can to help ease your transition out of service.”

Thankfully, he was self-aware enough and savvy enough to see the truth in what I was saying and not double down. But that’s not the case with every leader.

And that’s where these kinds of promises become dangerous. They don’t just offer someone hope. They invite them to make a bet.

A bet on your influence.
A bet on your access.
A bet on your ability to make something happen when it matters.

But the person on the other side of the table isn’t betting with chips. They’re betting with time. With family. With energy. With the parts of their life they may never get back.

That’s the danger of mistaking someone’s confidence for actual power.

Some leaders really can open doors. Others can only point at doors and make you believe they have the key.

Ep 179- Developing a Monk’s Mindset

Send us Fan Mail

Sam Yo, Peloton instructor, former West End theater performer, and author of The Monk’s Mindset, joins Joe to talk about discipline, mindfulness, and learning how to bring the right effort to every part of our lives.

Joe and Sam explore Sam’s journey from early success on the stage to life in a Thai monastery, and eventually to Peloton. Along the way, they discuss what it means to slow down, reflect, build daily anchors, and stop confusing constant movement with meaning.

Joe and Sam also discuss:

  •  Why life is more like a jigsaw puzzle than a straight line 
  •  How early success can still leave us feeling restless 
  •  What Sam learned from entering a monastery with only five possessions 
  •  The difference between discipline and self-destruction 
  •  Why meditation isn’t about clearing the mind 
  •  How small morning anchors can shape the rest of your day 
  •  Why we should celebrate small wins instead of rushing past them 
  •  What “right effort” means when no one is watching 
  •  How Sam’s monastery lessons shaped his work at Peloton 

Whether you’re navigating a transition, trying to build better habits, or feeling pulled through life on autopilot, this episode is for anyone looking to slow down, reconnect with the present, and bring more intention to the way they show up each day. And connect with Joe on Peloton (GreenNotebookJ)

Ep 178-Military Barracks, Accountability, and the Cost of Ignoring Small Problems with Rob Evans

Rob Evans joins Joe for a conversation about military barracks conditions, leadership accountability, and why he created Hots&Cots to give junior service members a voice.

Drawing from his own experience as a junior enlisted Soldier, Rob shares how years of seeing poor living conditions—and reading reports from organizations like the Government Accountability Office—pushed him to stop complaining from the sidelines and start building solutions. What began as a weekend coding project has grown into a platform with tens of thousands of users across the military.

Throughout the conversation, Joe and Rob discuss the realities of barracks life, why problems often fail to reach senior leaders, and how outside accountability can help installations respond faster to issues affecting Soldiers’ quality of life.

They also explore the challenges of balancing advocacy work with family and full-time jobs, the importance of leaders walking the barracks, and why creating meaningful change requires more than just funding—it requires sustained leadership attention.

Joe and Rob also discuss:

  •  The GAO reports and systemic issues impacting military barracks across the services 
  •  How the platform allows service members to anonymously review barracks and dining facilities 
  •  Why some leaders initially resisted the platform—and how attitudes have changed over time 
  •  Real examples of barracks issues being resolved within hours because of public visibility 
  •  The biggest recurring problems in the barracks: HVAC failures, mold, and maintenance issues 
  •  Why accountability and transparency are essential for improving quality of life 
  •  How outdated systems and competing priorities continue to slow progress 
  •  The challenge of balancing passion projects, family life, and full-time work 
  •  Why feedback from Soldiers keeps Rob motivated to continue the work 
  • Read the Hots&Cots State of the Barracks White Paper Joe and Rob talk about here! 

Whether you’ve lived in the barracks, led Soldiers in garrison, or care about improving the day-to-day lives of service members, this episode offers an honest look at the systems behind military housing—and the people working to make them better.

Non-Judicial Punishment: The Authority We Are Least Trained to Wield

By LTC Steven Huckleberry

Commanders are entrusted with many authorities, but few are as consequential, and as little prepared for, as the execution of non-judicial punishment (NJP) under Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Unlike training management, operational planning, or ethical decision-making, NJP is rarely approached as a skill that requires deliberate education. Yet its effects are immediate and personal: careers are altered, families are impacted, reputations are shaped, and a unit’s perception of fairness and legitimacy is either reinforced or quietly eroded.

Early in my career, as a battery commander, I adjudicated an Article 15 with little formal preparation beyond a statutory briefing in a company pre-command course and a procedural checklist. I had never seen one, so like many commanders, I relied heavily on my First Sergeant in the moments before the proceedings to ensure I understood what was about to occur. From my anecdotal inquiries, that experience was not unique. Even in formal pre-command courses, instruction on the law of armed conflict often eclipses meaningful discussion of NJP, despite the fact that non-judicial punishment is far more likely to confront commanders early and often.

Over time, I became increasingly uncomfortable with how ad hoc and personality-driven the NJP process can be. Commanders are expected to balance unit discipline with individual justice; emotion with logic; deterrence with rehabilitation. They are asked to make decisions that carry second- and third-order effects, often under time pressure and with incomplete information, while projecting confidence and moral clarity to Soldiers who may be experiencing the most consequential moment of their careers. Yet, we rarely provide leaders a deliberate framework for doing so.

The consequences of this gap are subtle but real. When NJP feels improvised, opaque, or unevenly applied, Soldiers may comply with punishment while losing faith in the institution administering it. Leaders may leave the process uncertain whether they achieved justice or merely expedience. Over time, this erodes trust through accumulated doubt about whether discipline is exercised thoughtfully, consistently, and with genuine concern for both the individual and the unit.

This article proposes a framework for executing NJP deliberately. It does not claim to be definitive or universally applicable. Rather, it reflects a system I developed to better understand the Soldiers who stand before me, the leadership systems that shaped their behavior, and the implications of any decision I make. The intent is threefold. First, to provide incoming company-level commanders a practical framework for exercising NJP with rigor and legitimacy. Second, to offer battalion-level commanders a method for compensating for the distance that naturally grows as formations expand. Finally, to propose leader development practices that prepare future leaders—well before command—to assume this responsibility with maturity and confidence.

At its core, this approach treats non-judicial punishment not as an administrative burden, but as a form of stewardship: stewardship of authority, stewardship of people, and stewardship of trust within the profession of arms.

The Institutional Gap: Why We Teach NJP Poorly

The Army does not ignore non-judicial punishment. Commanders are briefed on its legal foundations, its procedural requirements, and the rights afforded to Soldiers. Judge advocates rightly emphasize due process and compliance with the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Yet what is largely absent from professional military education is guidance on how commanders should think about NJP as a leadership act rather than a legal event.

Ep 177- Dopamine and the Problem With Always Chasing What’s Next with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman

Daniel Z. Lieberman, psychiatrist and co-author of The Molecule of More, joins Joe to explore the powerful role dopamine plays in shaping our desires, decisions, and sense of fulfillment.

Joe and Dan discuss how dopamine isn’t just about pleasure—it’s about possibility. It drives us to chase the future, often leading us to idealize what’s ahead while overlooking what’s right in front of us. From career ambition to relationships, this constant pursuit can leave us restless, unsatisfied, and always searching for the next thing.

Throughout the conversation, they examine the tension between “wanting” and “liking,” why achieving our goals can sometimes feel empty, and how modern environments—from social media to consumer culture—are designed to keep us in a dopaminergic loop.

They also explore practical ways to create balance—how to strengthen “here and now” awareness through journaling, reflection, and intentional habits, and why slowing down is not natural, but something we must train ourselves to do.

Joe and Dan also discuss:

  •  Why dopamine is better understood as a “prediction” or “possibility” molecule—not a pleasure one 
  •  The difference between wanting something and actually liking it 
  •  How the “Daisy effect” (idealizing the future) shapes our expectations and disappointments.
  •  How dating apps and social media amplify dopamine and distort reality 
  •  The transition from passionate love to companionate love—and why it matters 
  •  How a lifetime of goal-chasing (like in the military) conditions us to struggle with stillness 
  •  Why journaling helps uncover patterns, motivations, and meaning 
  •  Practical tools like meditation and breathwork to strengthen “here and now” awareness 
  •  The importance of asking “why” before chasing the next goal 

Whether you’re navigating a transition, chasing a goal, or trying to better understand your own patterns, this episode offers a powerful framework for recognizing when you’re being driven by the future—and how to reconnect with the present.

Ep 176- The Hidden Markets Shaping Your Career with Judd Kessler

Judd Kessler—a professor at the Wharton School and author of Lucky by Design—joins Joe to explore the hidden markets that shape our lives, careers, and opportunities.

Joe and Judd discuss how many of the most important decisions we encounter—from job promotions to school admissions to performance evaluations—aren’t driven by price, but by rules we rarely see or fully understand. These “hidden markets” determine who gets what, often leaving people frustrated, confused, or convinced that success comes down to luck.

Throughout the conversation, they examine how understanding the rules of these markets can shift outcomes, why preparation and self-awareness matter more than we think, and how leaders—whether they realize it or not—are constantly designing markets through the way they allocate time, attention, and opportunity.

They also explore practical strategies for navigating these environments, from competing in high-speed, first-come-first-serve systems to knowing when it’s better to “settle for silver” rather than walk away empty-handed.

Joe and Judd also discuss:

  •  What “hidden markets” are—and why they’re everywhere 
  •  Why success often looks like luck (but isn’t) 
  •  How understanding the rules gives you a competitive advantage 
  •  The strategy of “settling for silver” to improve your odds 
  •  Why preparation and clarity of values matter before entering any competition 
  •  How poorly designed systems invite “speculators” and unintended consequences 
  •  The three E’s of market design: efficiency, equity, and ease 
  •  Why leaders must be intentional about how they allocate time, attention, and opportunity 
  •  How misaligned or unclear expectations can quietly shape careers 
  •  The importance of aligning who you are with what the system rewards 

Whether you’re navigating promotions, competing for opportunities, or leading others in high-stakes environments, this episode offers a powerful framework for understanding the systems around you—and how to operate within them more effectively.

Are You Chasing Daisies?

By Joe Byerly

We build the future in our head with such vivid imagery. We can taste the salt on the rim of an ice-cold margarita. We can walk through every moment of the romantic date—every reaction, the way candlelight hits our partner’s eyes. We can smell the leather of the chair in the corner office with our name on the door.

The ultimate vacation falls short. The date night lands flat. The dream job wasn’t that great.

Future becomes the present and imagination becomes reality.

Ep 175-Bend But Do Not Break: Rethinking the Future of the All-Volunteer Force with Jaron Wharton

Jaron Wharton—a former brigade commander in the 82nd Airborne Division and co-editor of Bend but Do Not Break joins Joe to examine the future of the all-volunteer force and the role of professional discourse in strengthening the military. 

Joe and Jaron discuss how education and self-study shape better leaders, why intellectual curiosity is essential in command, and how stepping outside of purely tactical experiences helps leaders avoid what Joe describes as a “soda straw” view of the world. They also reflect on the dangers of groupthink inside hierarchical organizations and the responsibility leaders have to create space for dissenting ideas.

Throughout the conversation, they explore the growing disconnect between the military and the society it serves, the risks of an emerging “warrior caste,” and why service must be valued beyond just those in uniform.

Joe and Jaron also discuss:

  •  Why education prepares leaders not just for success—but for failure 
  •  The danger of an “anti-intellectual bend” in the military 
  •  How groupthink develops—and how leaders can actively fight it 
  •  Why publishing isn’t the goal—promoting conversation is 
  •  The risks of a widening civil-military gap 
  •  Why service should be celebrated across all professions—not just the military 
  •  The importance of giving junior leaders a voice in shaping the profession 
  •  What it might take to mobilize society for large-scale conflict 

Whether you’re a junior leader trying to find your voice, a senior leader thinking about the future of the force, or someone simply interested in the relationship between the military and society, this episode offers a thoughtful and challenging look at where we are—and where we may be headed.

Also, check out Bend but Do Not Break, with proceeds supporting Wear Blue: Run to Remember.