By Joe Byerly
When I returned from Afghanistan as the world was shutting down in March of 2020, I struggled to regain my footing. I missed the mission, the people, and the sense of purpose that had been the heartbeat of deployments during the Global War on Terrorism. So, after a month of being home, I brought a bit of that deployment to my own family: Fitness Opportunities.
This was a Sunday tradition started and led by General Scott Miller, who commanded Resolute Support Mission in Kabul for three years. Every Sunday morning, servicemembers, NATO allies, and coalition partners gathered at the steps of headquarters for a workout that rarely changed from week to week.
For the next hour, the entire base became a gym. There was the cash-in, usually pushups or burpees. Then came the race around the course, with stations built into the route: pull-up bars, barracks stairs, a balance-beam-like wall, and whatever else had been folded into the workout. Finally, there was the cash-out, usually squats or some other lower-body exercise.
Each workout marked another week down, another week closer to the end of the tour. The Commander’s “Fitness Opportunities” brought out trash-talking, sometimes overheard in multiple languages. It created camaraderie, with different nations trading workout shirts at the end. And it usually closed with a message from General Miller or another senior visitor, like the U.S. Secretary of Defense or the Secretary General of NATO.
Then everyone would shower, change, and return to work for another week in Afghanistan.
I missed those workouts. I missed my friends. I missed the feeling that followed a tough fitness event with those friends.
So I began the tradition with my own family.
At the time, my son was around nine, and my daughter was still young enough to ride in a stroller. Our course did not wind through a coalition headquarters in Kabul. It ran through the mailbox-lined streets of our neighborhood. There were no barracks to climb, no blast walls, no senior leaders waiting at the end with a message for the formation. There was just me, my wife, my son, my daughter in the stroller, and an attempt to hold on to something I was not ready to let go of.
But what I did not realize at the time, and what I would come to learn over the next six years of Family Fitness Opportunities, was that this event would take on a meaning of its own.
It became a way to teach our kids grit. To teach them not to quit. Not to cut corners. Not to half-ass a push-up just because no one was watching them.
Over time, we have been able to show them that when you work at something, you get better at it. Maybe the pull-up feels impossible this week. Maybe the quarter-mile loop feels too long. Or maybe the assault bike feels impossible to master.
But you keep showing up. You keep trying. You keep doing the work.
And eventually, what once felt impossible becomes merely hard. Then manageable. Then normal. All it takes is putting in the work, one Sunday at a time.
It also taught us patience. There were plenty of Sundays when the kids pushed back against working out in the heat, the cold, or the rain and snow. There were more than a few embarrassing shouting matches on our street, breaking the quiet of our neighborhood’s Sunday morning.
Over time, my son went from pushing back to pushing me. My nine-year-old boy grew into a sixteen-year-old young man who now towers over me, talks trash the entire course, and forces me to work harder just to keep up.
There have been days when my wife had to step in because I lacked the motivation to do it. There have even been days when our kids stepped up because neither of us was feeling it. In that way, Family Fitness Opportunities has evolved from “Dad’s thing” to “Our thing”.
As the kids have gotten older, it has become much harder to make it an every-Sunday tradition like it was when they were younger. Practices, school, travel, and life have made the rhythm harder to protect. But we still aim to do it once a month and on special occasions.
When my wife asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day this year, the first thing I said was that I wanted to begin the day with Family Fitness Opportunities. She had the same request for this past Mother’s Day.
We have also added to the tradition over time. Now, when the workout ends, we cook a big breakfast together. And funny enough, that has often been enough motivation for our eight-year-old to ask for the family workout herself, because she knows pancakes with way too much syrup are waiting at the end.
So this Sunday, I am grateful for this unexpected gift Afghanistan gave me. I brought it home because I was trying to hold on to something I missed. But over time, my family made it their own. And now, in a way I never could have planned, it has become one of the rhythms that holds us together.
Joe Byerly is a retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel with 20 years of service, including tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, and command of a cavalry squadron in Europe. He earned numerous prestigious awards, including multiple Legion of Merits, Bronze Stars, the Purple Heart, and General Douglas MacArthur Leadership Award. In 2013, Joe founded From the Green Notebook.
A passionate advocate for self-knowledge through reading and reflection, he authored The Leader’s 90-Day Notebook and co-authored My Green Notebook: “Know Thyself” Before Changing Jobs, a resource for leaders seeking greater self-awareness. If this post resonated with you or sparked any questions, feel free to reach out to him at Joe@fromthegreennotebook.com.
