By Lindsey Umlauf
Have you ever felt that you were one misstep away from being found out as a fraud? Despite your objective success and merit, does the phrase ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ resonate? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Welcome to the silent majority of high achievers who want to be in the room and get a seat at the table. You know- the table where key people make decisions, the table where opinions are valued, where expertise matters, where you feel like you’re a contributing member of the team.
At every organization, at every level, we see the table and we see the people “who have a seat at the table” —but how did they do that? How can we do that? As an Army officer and physical therapist navigating my own imposter feelings, constantly pushing myself to be better and do more, I was starting to feel burned out. In the military, our professional growth takes place in a fishbowl of meritocracy—advancement earned through performance, competence, and character—all while under the watchful eye of leaders, peers and team members. This high-performance culture sets the tone where the bar, the speed of the hamster wheel, and our expectations for ourselves continue to increase with low tolerance for letting off the gas. My career at the time had clear evidence of merit —top blocks, board selection, broadening assignments, letters behind my name- but I heard that constant voice in the back of my mind:
They made a mistake selecting you
You are not good enough
You don’t belong here
Despite those voices, I kept pushing through that discomfort and emerged on the other side. I began to reflect on the various ‘tables’ that existed in my life —at some tables I was at the head, others I had just barely made the seat at the edge, and even some where I couldn’t even get in the room. An idea began to form- how can I get a seat at the table?
One day, I decided to bring my own chair.
It turns out, we all have our own chair- one that is unique to us- shaped by our strengths (and our weaknesses), experiences, and unique perspectives.
This spark of an idea formed The Bring Your Own Chair (BYOC) framework. It helped me cross the chasm from wondering what it would be like to sit at the table to finally doing something about it.
Bring Your Own Chair
This framework invites you to think about the tables in your life —the tables you want to be at, or are at currently but may feel stagnant, and not all steps here will apply in every situation. Grab a sheet of paper, get cozy, and take some time to reflect on your tables.
Step 1: Find a Table
There are tables all around us in life —ones filled with the ‘smart kids’, the ‘cool kids’ the ‘artsy kids’. Maybe in our adult lives those are professional organizations, social groups, or specialized committees, and our interconnected world is a vast cafeteria of uncertainty. Your profession is a microcosm of tables. You need to dial it in —what are you curious about? Dig deep and reflect- build the awareness of your interests, passions, strengths and weaknesses.
Reflection Practice: Think on areas for growth. What tables do I see? Are there tables that align with the things I’m good at, the things I’m passionate about, tables where I could make a difference?
Step 2: Engage the Table
Have you found a new space that sparks joy or piques your interest? Consider engaging that table. Key point here: prior to barging into the room or inviting yourself to the table, understand the table. Having a conversation with someone who is already at the table or learning more about the table is a great way to start.
Reflection Practice: How does this table align with your goals and values? What is it about this new space that intrigues you?
Step 3: Set Down Your Chair
You are at a turning point. After learning more, think about how the table aligns with your goals, time and interests. Do you have something unique to offer…is there something to learn? Are you passionate enough to invest your time to make the table better? If so, set down your chair! Setting down your chair may be clicking ‘yes’ to the calendar invite, volunteering to lead a project, or inviting someone to coffee to share your ideas. Take ownership of your seat and follow through.
Reflection Practice: How are you showing up to the table? What can you learn? What can you teach others?
Step 4: Invite Others to the Table
After spending some time at the table, do you see gaps in experience or skill that may be holding it back? Are you at another table that needs new energy? Do you see a little of yourself in the others waiting in the wings for a seat to open? Be the friendly face you needed, and invite others to join you to build a better table.
Reflection Practice: How do you empower others? What are you doing to encourage others to grow?
Step 5: Build a Larger Table
What have you learned at the table? Can those lessons serve a broader purpose? Our world changes rapidly —offering new chairs, shuffling them around the table or having a rotating guest list- can sustain the table’s relevance and impact. Think about how the table will continue after you leave. This may mean formalizing the table in a charter, updating a policy, or publishing what you have learned at your table in a blog, formal article, or presentation.
Reflection Practice: How can you build space for others? How can your table have a broader impact? How can you share what you’ve learned?
Ready to Bring Your Chair?
Feeling like a fraud despite your successes is a common experience, but you won’t know about it unless you share your story with others. I began sharing my ideas with close friends, and found that they had also had countless stories of never feeling ready, or prepared. If you are feeling stuck in your professional growth- circling that table you want to sit at —make the decision to bring your own chair instead of waiting for the invitation, and inspire others to join you.
Lindsey Umlauf is an Army Major and physical therapist at Fort Belvoir, VA. She finds joy in empowering others to own their voice, embrace their value, and lead with purpose at every level. She is a board-certified orthopedic clinical specialist (OCS), Project Management Professional (PMP) and a Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives (FACHE). Lindsey is a board member and co-host for the WarDocs Military Medicine Podcast. She lives in Alexandria, VA with her husband, Jon, a retired Army Physical Therapist, and mini goldendoodle, Chewy.
