By Joe Byerly
We can have the best of plans. We can have the greatest of intentions.
But until those plans and intentions collide with reality—it’s all just theory.
Theories aren’t reality.
They’re untested. They live in our minds—with plot lines we’ve made up. .
But I think we sometimes forget that. I know I do.
Plans and intentions only become meaningful when tested by reality—when we actually do the thing.
And the only way to test them…
The only way to learn…
Is through action.
We learn nothing by hanging out in the theory stage of life.
We can think on paper.
We can lie awake at night running through a thousand contingencies (mine usually show up between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m.)
We can talk for hours with friends and family about how a project will go, how a life decision might unfold, or whether we’ll actually enjoy something.
But until we act—we’ll never really know.
I used to have this conversation with new Army officers all the time. Many of them had “a theory” about what the Army would be like—how good they’d be at doing Army, and more importantly, how much they’d enjoy it.
But once theory met reality, things often shifted. Some realized they couldn’t keep pace with operations. Some struggled with the time away from family. And others discovered they didn’t like being in charge of people.
When we had these frank conversations, I reminded them not to beat themselves up for choosing to join and serve. It was only through action that they were able to arrive at that conclusion in the first place. Without action, it would’ve remained just a theory.
Speaking for myself, the trouble usually starts when I cling too tightly to my expectations—forgetting that reality doesn’t follow scripts.
Because when I resist what’s actually happening, I miss the data points—the feedback reality is offering up. I miss the chance to learn from it.
It’s easy for me to drift back into overthinking, to confuse planning for progress, or to let my theory’s collision with reality send me into a frustration spiral.
This lesson—It’s all theory until we do it—is something I have to learn again and again.
When I embrace that mindset: It’s all theory, until we act, it helps turn down the dial on stress and anxiety. It helps me to leap into a project with the idea of “I’m going to learn something from it.” instead of, “If this doesn’t go exactly how I thought it would, I’m a [insert harsh judgment here.”
So, maybe you’re standing at the edge of something right now—something that’s been rolling around in your head, probably between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m.
If that’s the case, just remember: clarity won’t come from more thinking.
It’ll come from doing.
Joe Byerly is a retired U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel with 20 years of service, including tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, and command of a cavalry squadron in Europe. He earned numerous prestigious awards, including multiple Legion of Merits, Bronze Stars, the Purple Heart, and General Douglas MacArthur Leadership Award. In 2013, Joe founded From the Green Notebook.
A passionate advocate for self-knowledge through reading and reflection, he authored The Leader’s 90-Day Notebook and co-authored My Green Notebook: “Know Thyself” Before Changing Jobs, a resource for leaders seeking greater self-awareness. If this post resonated with you or sparked any questions, feel free to reach out to him at Joe@fromthegreennotebook.com.
