by Dave Leydet
As I sat in my high school algebra class, the principal’s voice came over the loudspeaker.
“A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center,” he announced.
I thought to myself, That’s odd; why are they telling us about a random plane crash?
But moments later, the principal stated that a second plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. I sat frozen in my chair, stunned at what I had just heard. Something significant was unfolding. As I listened to the principal’s reports, the events of that day catalyzed my desire to join the military and defend my country.
Why I Joined: Patriotism and Selfless Service
Patriotism and service underpinned my decision to join the United States Army, and remain the core reasons why I continue to serve.
Selfless service was one of my family’s core values. My father served as an enlisted Airman in the United States Air Force Reserve. He was away at least one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer, and was activated during Operations Desert Storm and Enduring Freedom. Our family was proud of his commitment to our country and community, even though it was challenging to have him gone. Dad was the neighborly type who never shied away from helping others–shoveling driveways, roofing, and building decks. No job was too big or small, especially if it meant helping others. I was often the unwilling assistant on these projects, but these experiences taught me the value of selfless service. I always felt I would go into the military or serve in some capacity, just like Dad. But September 11th was the day when that feeling turned into a calling. Nevertheless, like most others, I experienced many instances when getting out of the military was an option I seriously considered.
One such decision point was when I was a Captain with about four years of service. My wife, Stacey, and I sought stability, especially as we started our family. After a whirlwind of initial entry training, a deployment to Afghanistan, and coming back to a rigorous equipment reset, fielding, and training cycle, we weren’t sure this high-tempo lifestyle was for us. The following is the list of factors, in no particular order, that my family and I considered when deciding to stay in or exit the service.
Why I Stayed: My Decision Factors
Sustainable Personal & Professional Harmony. This factor is about optimizing the essential aspects of our lives sustainably. Stacey and I often frame Personal & Professional Harmony in terms of what season of life we are in as a family, both personally and professionally. For example, we knew my professional obligations would be demanding as I entered Company Command and Battalion S3 time. If we didn’t mutually agree on this demand, if it didn’t align with Stacey’s professional goals, or if it was not conducive to our family’s wellness, I would have sought other opportunities in the Army or outside of it. Stacey’s company allows her to work remotely, which has enabled us to maintain her career through each move. We are grateful that her company recognizes the value of dual-career families.
Family Planning Considerations. Stacey and I always planned to have children. We thought this process would be relatively easy. However, we learned that fertility issues are very common. We suffered numerous miscarriages when I was a young Captain. Part of our decision to stay or leave during this time was predicated on continuity of care while we dealt with these issues. Fortunately for us, our Chain of Command was extremely supportive in providing the time and resources we needed to address our fertility challenges. We welcomed our daughters, Abigail and Eliana, into the world a short time later.
Financial and Education Benefits. Competitive compensation is another important factor we considered. We didn’t need an exorbitant salary; however, we did require a compensation package to live comfortably and facilitate future opportunities. We found that my stable military pay, coupled with Stacey’s salary, met our needs. Educational opportunities for our family were also important, which the Army has provided through scholarships, advanced civil schooling (ACS), and the GI bill. We also used the VA loan to purchase our first home. Additionally, the military’s retirement–I am in the legacy High-3 system–provides some financial security once we exit the service. While we could potentially make a bigger salary outside the military, our compensation, which also includes health and dental insurance, has contributed to keeping us in.
Professional Fulfillment. Stacey often reminds me, “If you don’t love what you are doing, then get out.” The military lifestyle is challenging–moving away from friends and family and integrating into new communities is difficult, especially as we and our daughters get older. Even though the military is full of challenges and hardships, I am still committed to serving our country, working with phenomenal teammates, and investing in the next generation of leaders. Service to others is one of the core reasons I joined the military, and it is still one of the most compelling reasons I choose to stay.
Organizational Culture and Climate. Fortunately, I have served in more phenomenal units than terrible ones. The high “phenomenal to terrible” unit ratio of my career has contributed to my decision to stay in the service and has led to some incredible opportunities. One of the best pieces of advice I received as a junior Officer was, “Don’t judge the Army by one unit.” If your first assignment is in a less-than-ideal organization, it may be worth transferring to another unit to evaluate the Army holistically.
Final Thoughts
Stacey and I actually began the transition process in February of 2013. I filled out my Release From Active Duty (REFRAD) packet. I lined up interviews with various businesses and MBA programs. We started to explore different places we wanted to live. We were ready to exit the service. Then one August afternoon, a mentor who taught at West Point called to offer me a rotating faculty position. I had applied almost a year prior and never heard back, so I assumed (incorrectly) that I wasn’t selected. This opportunity offered Stacey and me the sustainable personal and professional harmony we needed during a critical time in our marriage as we navigated starting a family. It also allowed us to pursue a fully funded Master’s degree while remaining on Active Duty. Most importantly, it offered us a chance to serve with an incredible organization committed to educating, training, and inspiring the next generation of leaders. This was the moment our decision to stay in the Army became crystal clear.
Military service, like any profession, has its pros and cons. I enjoy the camaraderie, leadership development, and shared purpose the military offers. Toxic leadership, unnecessary bureaucracy, and inadequate resourcing are some frustrating aspects of military life. Despite the challenges of military service, our decision framework still has us staying in the Army.
The best advice I can offer anyone considering staying or leaving is, make the best decision for you. “Best” is obviously subjective, but that is the beauty of it. Your decision criteria and reasons to stay or leave the service are unique to you. Mentors and peers can illuminate the path ahead. But remember, what was best for them may not be best for you. While these decisions can be difficult and daunting, they often lead to wonderful, unforeseen opportunities. Remember: whether you served your initial obligation or thirty-plus years, our nation was fortunate to have you in its military ranks!
Lieutenant Colonel Dave Leydet is transitioning to the United States Military Academy to serve as an assistant professor after recently completing a Ph.D. at the University of Utah. He is a Space Operations Officer (FA40) with prior experience as an Armor and Signal Corps Officer. He is the proud husband of Stacey and dad to Abby and Ellie. In his spare time, Dave often can be found practicing ski mountaineering, alpinism, and free flight in mountain ranges around the world. Please feel free to connect with Dave on LinkedIn or Instagram (@alpindave).
