Albert D. Keever Jr.
In the military, the term “dependent” usually refers to someone who relies on a service member for financial and medical support, such as a spouse or a child. It’s a label that, on the surface, appears straightforward. However, after 22 years of serving in the Army, I have come to view this description through a different lens, one shaped by the many ways my spouse has supported me throughout our marriage. While I may be the one wearing the uniform and drawing a paycheck, it is her strength, sacrifice, and consistency that have enabled me to thrive both personally and professionally. Honestly, I have often felt more like the dependent in my family, leaning on my wife to foster the stability that makes my military service even remotely possible.
It is this realization that ultimately compelled me to challenge the cultural associations of the word “dependent,” which often minimize the contributions of military spouses. When I first met my wife, she was a middle school math teacher, a role she embraced with the same passion and patience that military leaders bring to their organizations. She was also the proud mother of a young daughter who captured my heart as much as she did. When we married and later welcomed two more children into our family, the ability to balance her passion for teaching with her parental responsibilities was truly remarkable. But the demands of military life soon brought us to a crossroads.
The Crossroads
After receiving orders for Fort Irwin, CA, we faced a pivotal decision. Balancing my Army career with the needs of our growing family required one of us to take the lead at home. With her characteristic selflessness, my spouse decided to transition from educating to full-time parenting, a decision that was challenging as much as it was necessary. The transition from teacher to stay-at-home parent represented more than a simple shift in responsibilities; it also signified a profound change in identity, one she ultimately embraced for the benefit of the family.
The Need for Stability
Military life is often unpredictable. Deployments, training exercises, and high operational tempo require extraordinary resilience and flexibility from families. As such, military spouses become the unsung heroes holding everything together. They often manage the household, handle finances, raise children, and provide critical emotional support while their spouses are immersed in the demands of their duties. Their role is deeply active, requiring seamless adaptation and critical problem-solving.
This stability is not just a convenience–it is a lifeline. The continuity provided by spouses allows soldiers to focus on their duties without the constant worry of what is happening back home. This dynamic has repeatedly played out in my career, as my wife’s unwavering support has enabled me to seize professional opportunities that would have otherwise not been possible. The flexibility she provided gave me space to attend specialized training courses, assume demanding assignments, and maintain a competitive edge in my career.
While serving as a First Sergeant for over 42 months, my responsibilities and duty obligations consistently exceeded the timelines of a conventional duty day. I often needed to arrive early, stay late, take phone calls during odd hours of the night, and travel across multiple states to oversee operations at 26 different locations. These demands required me to be fully present and engaged, which would have been impossible without the assurance that my spouse was managing everything at home. Her sacrifice was not just for our family; it actually served as a direct contribution to the overall success of my leadership.
Force Multipliers
The contributions of military spouses extend well beyond the spectrum of their own families. In a sense, they are force multipliers. Force multipliers, in the military context, are typically defined as factors that greatly enhance the effectiveness and efficiency of an organization. Military spouses perfectly fit this description. They enable service members to perform at their best. However, despite their essential role, their respective contributions often go unnoticed, overshadowed by the more visible aspects of military life.
Imagine a house built to withstand the elements. The structure and roof inherently receive attention, but it is the unseen foundation that enables the house to weather the storms. Military spouses represent a similar foundation. Their sacrifices, often unrecognized, provide the strength and stability that make military service possible for many soldiers. They are not merely supporters, but also partners who share in both the burdens and triumphs of military service life.
Reframing the Narrative
Perhaps it is time to reframe the term “dependent.” It fails to illustrate the true nature of the partnership. Spouses are not passive beneficiaries of military life but active participants whose contributions are critical to the success of the military as a whole. Without their service–and yes, it is a form of service–many soldiers would lack the foundation necessary to maintain readiness and achieve mission success.
Military spouses embody many of the values we champion in the armed forces, such as selflessness, resilience, and commitment to a cause greater than any one person. They are, in every sense, unsung heroes who deserve our respect and recognition. Their sacrifices may not earn medals or promotions, but they are no less vital to the strength of our military. It is time we celebrated them for what they truly are: not dependents, but partners in service and the backbone of military families.
Albert D. Keever is a Master Sergeant in the U.S. Army and is currently a student at the Sergeants Major Academy (Class 75). He has a Master’s in Management with a concentration in Human Resource Management. MSG Keever has held several leadership positions throughout his 22 years of service, including First Sergeant of Veterinary Readiness Activity, Fort Carson, serving as the senior enlisted advisor for a battalion-level command. MSG Keever hails from Corpus Christi, TX.
