By Joe Byerly
For as long as I’ve been writing, I’ve mostly focused on the positive aspects of leading others. However, not every day as a leader is a good day. In fact, leaders often experience very dark days.
One of the hardest days of my command was August 1, 2023. I say it was one of the hardest because the days and nights that followed challenged me more than anything else in my career. On that day, we lost First Lieutenant Hailey Hodsden to a terrible accident in Germany.
Hailey was a happy person who loved life and inspired those around her, including myself. Whenever I meet someone like Hailey, who seems to live a joyful life, I’m always curious about how they do it.
How do they find peace when everything around them is in flux?
Although I had the privilege of getting to know her during my first year of command, it was after her death that I truly got to know her through stories told by her family and friends, as well as her own words.
Many factors contributed to Hailey’s sunny disposition, including her spiritual faith and support networks. However, I want to focus on a habit that she had, which you and I can start right now: journaling about gratitude.
Hailey was an avid journaler, beginning from her early childhood when she would record her thoughts in her parents’ green notebooks (she came from a long line of military service). Through writing, she would process her life, recording her experiences, making sense of them, and leaving us with invaluable wisdom that is often difficult to find in this world.
Hailey practiced writing down the things she was grateful for, which inevitably led to her looking for things to be grateful for.
Whether intentional or not, she was onto something.
We often think life is one objective reality, but in truth, our lives are shaped by what we choose to focus on. We can either be resentful that we’re working a tough job, or we can focus on the people we get to work with. We can focus on being separated from a loved one, or we can focus on the opportunities we get to reconnect. We can either wish we had more or we can express gratitude for what we have. In other words, the quality of our life is a choice. It’s determined by where we choose to focus.
Hailey chose to focus on gratitude, and therefore she had a life that so many people long for—a life of joy.
Her example teaches us to be grateful, and to write those things for which we are grateful down in our notebooks. By doing so, we will begin to shape our worldview and in the process find joy with life –even when it’s hard.
So, while today is heavy, I think Hailey would rather I focus on gratitude. Therefore, I’m thankful that I had the opportunity to serve with her. I’m grateful that I got to meet her amazing family. And I’m grateful that she continues to inspire, even after she is no longer with us.
Joe Byerly is an active duty officer and founder of From the Green Notebook. He’s also the coauthor of My Green Notebook: “Know Thyself” Before Changing Jobs. Listen to him on The Podcast, sign-up for his reading list email, receive his Sunday Email, or connect with him on LinkedIn.
