by Tom Dull
Leaders in the U.S. Army profession must deliberately prioritize leader development relationships in our units and organizations. Leader development relationships enable our subordinate leaders to maximize their personal and professional development and lead for our future Army. In his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell writes that the leader “must take the first step with others and then make the effort to continue building relationships.”
Most subordinate leaders desire development and want feedback to grow and strengthen in the Army profession as well as in life. The first step is for the leaders to lean in and reach out and initiate ”leader development relationships” with their subordinates. First and second line leaders owe their subordinates effort in mentorship, coaching, and professional development regardless of rank or position. Make no mistake, such commitment will take time as well as mental and emotional work—obstacles that might be used to justify kicking the can down the road—however, professional development is needed now more than ever in our profession of arms. Three keys to building leader development relationships are connection, conversation, and critical feedback.
Connection: Field Manual 6-22 Developing Leaders states that “for effective leader development, individual relationships with each subordinate are necessary. Connection is key to the relationship. Leaders who routinely interact with subordinates understand their subordinates’ backgrounds and experiences better” (p. 2-4). Some Army leaders believe deep connections are unfavorable. For example, some think connection may promote fraternization and inappropriate relationships. However, without personal connection, we risk failing to develop organizational trust.
In Lincoln On Leadership, Donald Phillips writes that President Abraham Lincoln was committed to connecting with others. “He worked hard at forging strong relationships with all of his subordinates.” Lincoln made a habit to spend time with the people in his cabinet, military, and staff. They learned about one another, good and bad, enabling many of Lincoln’s subordinates’ intellectual and leadership development during the American Civil War, arguably the toughest time in American history. The leader should initiate individual connection with the follower and not wait for the subordinate to ask for development. When the superior initiates leader development it demonstrates to subordinates that their superiors care as well as the importance of leader development.
Individual connection also enables collective connection amongst subordinate leaders. In the book Tribal Leadership, the authors suggest that strong connections “pay no attention to organization boundaries,” and build “triads” of leaders that collaborate and grow and develop together. As the leader builds these relationships, he or she should strive to connect subordinate leaders as well to build a broader leader development relationship network. This can be accomplished during physical fitness, leader lunches, or group counseling sessions. Developing strong leader networks will break down boundaries across the organization.
Conversation: Another key to leader development is quality conversations, which leaders can stimulate through deliberate questions to create shared understanding and develop goals. Personally, I think we owe our subordinates time and dialogue that help them see their specific purpose in life and enable them to understand how their purpose aligns with our profession’s values and ethic. At a minimum leaders need to have specific questions that drive conversations and discussions to enable their subordinates’ growth.
In her book, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth, Amy Edmondson writes about using good questions to create conversations. She writes that there are three “rules of thumb” to asking good questions to stimulate conversations: “one, you don’t know the answer, two, you don’t ask questions that limit response options to Yes or No, and three, phrase the question in a way that helps others share their thinking in a focused way.” In the end, you’re seeking to set the conditions for your subordinates to talk.
Prior to counseling sessions, leaders can provide subordinates with questions that stimulate reflection to enhance discussion during the counseling. These questions are thought provoking and focus on the subordinate’s development. Name a time in the previous quarter that you collaborated with another officer outside your company but in the battalion? What was the topic, process, and end state? How do you conduct self-development to better yourself personally and professionally (focus area and steps/methods)? These questions can be typed in a counseling form and the leader should take notes on that form during discussion. Questions that will create conversations can be based on the unit’s values, self-development, performance matters, and their own subordinate development.
Critical Feedback: Connection and conversations will build cohesion between the leader and subordinate. However, the best development requires leaders to provide feedback that holds their subordinates accountable. The relationship between the leader and subordinate provides accountability and responsibility. Responsible subordinates will work hard to progress, and the accountable leader will provide guidance or tools to enable development.
Feedback is developmental and personal, so the leader needs to skillfully ensure that the subordinate understands critical feedback as positive and beneficial. Trust built through connection enables feedback that subordinates (and leaders) might otherwise perceive as critical. This takes humility from both parties, but it is focused on enhancing the subordinate’s potential. In The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle writes that you learn from experiences when you ask why. Are there other options and how can you improve by doing something different? Critical questions include, “What were the obstacles?” “Should we take another approach or try something different?” and “Am I providing you the ability to grow and develop?” These questions should come from a place of shared humility and not a “know it all” or defensive position. Feedback in the development relationship will derive from both leader and subordinate’s resolve as they work and learn together throughout the subordinate’s growth. Therefore:
Connection + Conversation + Critical feedback = Leader Development Relationship
Trustworthy connection through developmental conversations paves the way for productive critique and critical questioning. In his book Leading with the Heart, Coach Mike Krzyzewski writes that “leaders have to give time for relationships.” Our Army is filled with great humans seeking to improve and develop. As their leaders, we must connect with our subordinates to have conversations that provide feedback to facilitate their development.
Tom Dull is an Infantry Officer in the United States Army and currently the battalion commander of 2-11th Infantry Regiment (Infantry Basic Officer Leaders Course) at Fort Moore, GA.
Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash
